Of resplendence tat has blinded me!

i lie down

with no sleep spendin d nite

mornins down like a drunken dog

stubs of fags leavin traces all over d place

d effect of alcohol wearin off

restless mind wanderin boundaries unknown

disconnected dreams

my fav playlist failin to conjure magik

ve ultimately fallen in da maze i know d way not

i cant say it out load

i still wanna shout my throat off d cliff

i realise..

i accept..

i finaaly enjoy the virtuality

i know not how much has she prepared me for this journey

but am losin it every second

a bad move will make me lose it aall

a gamble tat i wish not to throw away

years n years n years

i know wat draws us closer.

the beacon of light off the distant warehouse

is tat wat they call hope

i feel none frm wre i see the light

butterflies..i see them everywhere..

more often than not

the river encircled in the horshoe bend

not reachin da ocean

the urge to the union so strong

a fury that cant break the horse shoe spell

for da river is poisoned

blood so impure

my goddess is always worthy of worship

i cant clip my wings in sacrifice however great the emotion might be

a test of all tat i stood for

d wax in da candle is givin way to darkness

as its no eternal than my mortal musings on this planet

i bring my hands together to feed myself strength

universes bein created from stardust

dust is all thats left of this creation

d devotion i understand not

at times desperation consumes my soul

blackholes formed frm my actions gainin strength

takin everythin in, sparing nothing to craetion

taers have dried

water water behind the corniac dams

not a single drop to shed

moonlight doppling away in eclipses eternal

the highwayman meets the solitary highland lass

their sorrws communicates by intuition

their illusions of life no more understood

pores of da body brewin sweat as if the whole body is sheddin da saline of the eyes

ambiguity n disorientation take d drivers seat

d heart prisoned by a roller coaster of beats thumping thumping

slowly sadly

dreams of hers to step on

my dreams unfolded in a red carpet

symbolising an ode to her 'future' treads on mine

happy to take the footprints

to cherish those contacts immortalised by time

engulfin d dust left by her feet

somitimes a rebel

to upturn destiny

to figt the chances of rollin dice

i need her as i need oxygen water n freshness in them

so suffocated at times, never understanding wat makes me belive

scary thoughts of obsession interludes my thoughts

possessive like never before

only to dream of

her sailin miles apart

sharing her soul with the prince of her precious mind

Gollum.

i ve bcum..

my precious is all i can cry in private

in da darkness left by the blackholes

i pretend a smile when da sun comes to the fore

am happier than ever disappointed self

is it a curse r a nightmare to pass

i feel like rippin off my shell

to show her the mould inside me

to make her see that she is etched within

a void tat only she can fill

a lifetym on earth tat she can give meanin to

alas am jus a mortal

amoral as she loathed

i slap myself to reality

to only feel the pain

a deliverance which is all the better than the pin prickings

ve swum against the tide all along

let go!!

hungry all the same

till life does the death apart

i breathe her in n breathe myself out

shes magic n shes the rain..

i feel her in every drop healing n healing my vain

my pain

am scared of the ultimate test it mite put me to..

which am sure to fail.

i cant take it no more than i can explain

a brilliance far away

blindin all the same... my love!!

beat the heat

pacin down..9..10..11..01

a perennial stream has jus found its end in the pit of a navel mine.

a buzzing fly ends its tenure in a squat.

eyes flamin dragons' fiery.

matka bears water no more than a trickle to quench the thirst, ends in a virtual gulp.

dark is the nite devoid of partyin leaves, leaves me in yonder wander..

leanin am i, watchin with full concentration to jus satisfy my sense with

a mere least of a wavin leaf, summoning the wind.

alas! my senses titter totterin.

practicin voodoo in vain..releasin the pricks tht prisoned the VAYU in chains.

upto no good.

DIMAG KI BATTI in flickerin mode..

arms wide open, runnin the 11 paces that i had counted earlier, between potential n obvious obstructions, like a big fat ostrich preparing flight.

spreadeagled spree dint yield a dab of air to molest the sweat streamin down:(

it had an effect quite the opposite.

flushed.i sit down.

shooin the mosquitoes off.

its fag tym. to open the doorway to fresh contraptions.

bellows of smoke fill the room, affecting thermodynamics of the room in a rather unpleasant,unintended proportion.

quickly put off the smoke n throw a cough in agitation.

i lie back.

glare at the spinnin engg marver overhead.

cursin .

the damn thing doesn seem to throw any air eventhough its seems perfectly functionin in order.

irritation exponentiates............................................

i hide under my tee, to only come out with a face , sweat free:)

the clock says 2.48..

wann it to show 6 badly..

its bearable n pleasant at tat tym of the day..everyday..

beaten by the heat..

i resign.

CHECKMATE

Gulzaman's son

fragrances driftin in the air..
leavin traces behind..
a momentary lapse of reason , they cud be..
a shot of vodka wud ve justified this better..
deprived of which..
I Give u sumthn thats close to my heart..

Gulzaman's Son
Climbing his tortuous way from Kanzalwan, GuIzaman leaves the river, buckwheat harvests and slopes dark with conifers. His breath comes in a half-choked whistle, the air uncertain whether to burst through the lungs or whoosh out of the mouth.
He doesn't remain with his people now, among the sheepfolds and high-pasture huts. They rag him, 'GuIzaman, where is the son? Can we help?' 'Here comes the randiest ram in the valley!' They're not funny, these jibes at his virility. So each sundown he leaves for the river to sleep in a stone-breaker'spine-hut, till at dawn the sheep call him.
GuIzaman strains up the last hundred feet to reach the fold. Expectant ewes seek shelter from the wind under the lee of limestone walls. He sees his kinsmen, bearded and gaunt and broad-boned as himself, brooding over a dead kid. Rain starts hissing. There has been such heavy sleet the week past that in the sheepfolds new-borns have been dying. With the mothers wind-weakened and fed on wet grass, the lambs are still-born, floppinginert on the earth. Ewes don't even lick them and probe for hidden embers of life with their raking tongues. Broken, they turn on their sides like sacks of crushed ice.
The turf is sodden but his own fold is a small den made snug by bales of hay.His ewe snuggles up to him and bleats recognition, a thin tremolo of love blanketed by gutturals of pain. Relations crowd, darkening the doorway,as with heavily-greased arms GuIzaman examines her. Yes, the lamb is on its way! An hour later it is there, quavery-legged and wet and uncertain about its rickety, four-pronged hold on the earth. Shortly it pees. Allah be praised, now it will live. It cannot die of a chill in the stomach. Either the doorway has been cleared, or cloudshave been parted for an instant by the sun. GuIzaman picks the dun-coloured lamb and holds it to his chest. 'This', he says, 'this is my son.'
BY KEKI N DARUWALA

another question??

there s a dark feeling..less than hatred..more than loathing..

that ugly meen feel for handsome men..

its unreasonable and unjustifeid...but its always there..

hiding in the long shadow thrown by envy..

it creeps out..into the light of ur eyes..

wen u r falling in love with a beautiful woman..

SHANTARAM

wat if one no longer feels this way???

Economics thats bothering me...

heres the case..

one gold flake king size cig s 5 rs

one pack 44rs

i buy a pack n think of returnin two to shopkeeper for 8rs

my loss: .80rs

shop key s gain: 2 rs

wat if i get 10rs for d 2 fags that i return??

my gain: 1.20 rs

shop keys loss: .80rs r 0rs???

Butterfly Effect

this turns out to be completely asynchronous with my last post.

I ve always had a theory..

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

(Ever observed a butterfly singin around a flower)

It gives immense happiness n undefined pleasure to me to jus watch the butterfly hoverin around flowers to draw nectar..They are so beautiful..It gives an immense peace of mind..a feel gud factor..

But one should never commit the mistake of catching them..

A free butterfly is thousand times more graceful than the one trapped between ur fingers..

First of all...

she has given me two important things..

One..A Key to unlock my addiction

Two..A way to reality n bliss..A way of life..A pilgrimage..The conscience..

She has given me the books to by..

The music to remember her..

Food for thought..

A new lease of lyf..

N memories immortal..

The adobe of bliss..

Elixir..

Happines can seriously never b described in her presence..

A feeling a bond which even eludes her senses..

She fills the minds eye with colour n virtue..

Each frame dominated by her..

i ve jus taken the liberty to memorise every strand of her hair wavings in the getle breeze from the sides..

every blink of her eyes in excitement..

most of all..images of her sweat from labour..those blotches of her burnt energy..

shes a laborious person n i haven seen her wastin her joules for free..

thats wat makes the scent of her labour captivating both visually n its simply so damn personal..

materially bound..she s my temple..my goddess..my faith in humanity n my interest in lyf..

wen i sync with her she ll b my breath my vision my all senses conjugated in one..

i ll surely kneel down in front of her wen am devoid of all tat i ve amassed so far..

n all thats left with me is the full grown wings(its premature in all aspects now)

n fly in the eternal bliss n wen i can actually develop my sense of her(the seventh sense dedicated to her omnipresence)

Till then i watch the butterfly filling my mind with all the peace that seems to have evaporated from my self..

the beauty here lies in developin the wings af the butterfly by watchin it fly rather than caging ourselves by trapping the tender membranes of the wonderful creature, chainin ourselves forever n ever...

Irrelevant musings

Its been quite sometym....
on a high seems sumthin of the past...
vision is hazy..
evertythin is kind of dizzy dizzy...
with no literary feed for quite sometym now...

there was a time, not so long ago..
when the creative pitches were hit for a Home Run..
runnin seems to ve been laid to rest..RIP..

a blockage..blockade n a choke...
roadblock in front of milestones...
the moonlite fadin away ..
cos the sun is carbonisin..

there seems to b a valley below the lake...
the reflections encapsulated in a matrix..
bitter tastin strawberries paintin the ocean red...

sheets of ice afloat..
mercury risin n risin..
meltin d ice station zebra....
vanishin without leavin traces any...

myriad of colors remind me of the bow..
my triads not finding the deltas of change...
hope is a quintessential of feelings all...
for love has flown out the window...
a remoreseless widow in black..

wat am i writin..i know not..
dots i ve made..but connect them not...
words i ve stolen...
but mean them not...

thrillin is a ride which pumps more adrenaline..
keepers of the secret..reveal them not..

mysteries misunderstood..make them not..
substantial sequences evade me not....

bored is the reader .. reach here not..
for i wish to try..try me not...

there is a beautiful bank by the rivers flowin with eternal bliss..
such is the serenity, to make one gape in awe..
beautiful birds singing by..
alone is the boy with the load of pebbles..
he wishes to engage in some arm strainin...
throwin pebbles which hop on d river makin microsec impressions to be lost forever..
such is the river which banishes things on its way slowly erodin them
in a playful banter..
the sky above is a hazy blue...romantic rainbows kissed by the rain..
a beautiful deer finds her way next to the boy..
givin him company with deep beautiful eyes...
sedated the boy throws the pebbles down..
enchanted captivated..
the deer leads him to the jungle..
there is a lush cover of trees..
sun rays trickle down to give greenish yellow haze...
the leaves twinkle with the rainy dew..

happy is the boy..all wet on the face..
wakin up to find hish eyelashes bathed in saline n so..
wipes his eyes n hops outta bed..
it is evenin with a dream left incomplete..
puzzled is the expn..
he feels gud bcos of the dream but cannot explain the tears on him..
bewildered is he...so am I!!